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the_only_kyla
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Name: Kyla
Country: United States
State: Wisconsin
Gender: Female


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Member Since: 1/10/2005

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Monday, July 09, 2007

 


Monday, April 09, 2007

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-800908606826223149&q=johnny+cash+hurt&hl=en

you could have it all.  my empire of dirt.  i will let you down. i will make you hurt.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rzSl27pKj6k&mode=related&search=

I find peace when i'm confused...hope when i'm let down...hope to lose myself for good..to find it in the end, not in me...   

 you.

not in me

it's in you.

Currently Reading
The Complete Peanuts 1963-1964
By Charles M. Schulz, Charles Schulz
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Tuesday, March 27, 2007

"I don't get many things right the first time
In fact, I am told that a lot
Now [do] I know all the wrong turns, the stumbles and falls...What if I'd been born fifty years before you
In a house on a street where you lived?
Maybe I'd be outside as you passed on your bike
Would I know?..."

"...Cryptic words meander
Now there is a song beneath the song
One day you'll learn
You'll soon discern its true meaning...And it's not a love, it's not a love
It's not a love, it's not a love song
It's not a love, it's not a love, it's not a love song
It's not a love, it's not a love, it's not a love song..."

"...Whatever happened to Amelia Earhart?
Who holds the stars up in the sky?
Is true love just once in a lifetime?
Did the captain of the Titanic cry? 
Someday we'll know
Why I wasn't meant for you
I bought a ticket to the end of the rainbow
Watched the stars crash in the sea...Someday we'll know
That I was the one for you..."

I’m going to smile and make you think I’m happy, I’m going to laugh, so you don’t see me cry, I’m going to let you go in style, and even if it kills me- I’m going to smile.

"...I guess it's gonna have to hurt,
I guess I'm gonna have to cry,
And let go of some things I've loved,
To get to the other side,
I guess it's gonna break me down,
Like falling when you try to fly,
It's sad, but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life,
Starts with goodbye..."

"I've loved you
So long
I don't know who I'd be without...

Say I'm sorry Mr C, I was just looking for your son
How are you, incidentally, do you know if he's out alone?
There is this book he lent to me something like seven months ago
I'm gonna burn it in the street be so kind as let him know
that I'm dealing
with this badly
and
could he please get back to me?

How I long to tell you so...I assume my phone is dead because it hasn't rung for months
If tomorrow is the funeral do you think that you could come?
I could give you back your music and your t-shirts and your socks
Walk to Jazz's house in SOHO cry into her letter box
Spend some time out to resuscitate my soul
Take up smoking and drink carrot juice and grow
Teach them not just to expel you from his faults
Then dry my eyes and keep on walking til the motion makes me strong
Until one day i realise I don't remember that you're gone
We'll be strangers
who were lovers
I'll recover
It's so weird how time goes on..."

"Just before I go, don’t you offer any sweet advice because where were all your shoulders when I needed them so long ago? And now with legs so weak and weary from this silly dance, with a suitcase full of memories, I pack my bags and slowly drift away..."

"In the light of the sun,
Is there anyone?
Oh it has begun.
Oh dear, you look so lost,
eyes are red
and tears are shed,
This world you must've crossed.
You said,

You don't know me,
And you don't even care, oh yeah,
She said,
You don't know me...I think I'll start it over, where no one knows my name..."

"...And I have to speculate that God himself
Did make us into corresponding shapes like
Puzzle pieces from the clay
And true, it may seem like a stretch, but
Its thoughts like this that catch my troubled
Head when you're away when I am missing you to death...I hope this song will guide you home..."

"...I saw two shooting stars last night
I wished on them but they were only satellites
Is it wrong to wish on space hardware
I wish, I wish, I wish you'd careI don't want to change the world
I'm not looking for a new England
I'm just looking for another girl..."

"...I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I've been searching but I just don't see the signs
I know that it's out there
There's gotta be something for my soul somewhere..I've been looking for someone to shed some light..
Not somebody just to get me through the night.."

"Show off that body you got You got that dance floor so hot You workin that...this is definetely the wickedest thing i ever hear of in my life..."

"Look me in the eye and tell me you don't find me attractive.  Look me in the heart and tell me you won't go...Look me in the heart and un break broken, it won't happen...where do you go with your broken heart in tow?
What do you do with the left over you?
Where does the good go? Where does the good go?..."

"...You cut me down a tree
And brought it back to me
And that's what made me see
Where I was going wrong
...Get lost and then get found
or swallowed in the sea
...You put me on a line
And hung me out to dry
And darling, that's when I
decided to go see
...You cut me down to size
And opened up my eyes
Made me realize
What I could not see
....Yeah, you belong with me
Not swallowed in the sea..."

..."Whisper's hello I miss you quite terribly...I fell in love, in love with you suddenly..."

"...Will you never call again?
And will you never say that you loved me just to put it in my face?
And will you never try to reach me? It is I that wanted space
Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you
Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you
So Ill drive so far away that I never cross your mind
And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind
Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you
For you
For you
For you..."

"...I drink good coffee every morning...And when I'm done I feel like talking
Without you here there is less to say...if I lived till I could no longer climb my stairs
I just don't think I'll ever get over you
I just don't think I'll ever get over you
If I lived till I was 102
I just don't think I'll ever get over you..."

"...Trapped in the past, I just can't seem to move on..."

"...There's a song that's inside of my soul
It's the one that I've tried to write
over and over again
I'm awake and in the infinite cold
But You sing to me over and over and
over again

Sing to me of the song of the stars
Of Your galaxy dancing and laughing
and laughing again
When it feels like my dreams are so far
Sing to me of the plans that You have
for me over again...
"

Some people think it's holding on that makes one strong- sometimes it's letting go..

"...She's alone tonight with a bitter cup and
She's undone tonight, she's all used up,
She's been staring down the demons
Who've been screaming
She's just another so and so,
Another so and so

You are golden,
You are golden, Child
You are golden,
(Don't let go)
(Don't let go tonight)

You're a lonely soul in a land of broken hearts
You're far from home, it's a perfect place to start

You are Golden,
(Don't let go)
(Don't let go tonight)..."


"...She never slows down
She doesn’t know why
But she knows that when she’s all alone
It feels like it’s all coming down
She won’t turn around
The shadows are long
And she fears if she cries that first tear
The tears will not stop raining down...And the fear’s whispering
If she stands, she’ll fall down...The only way out is through everything
She’s running from...
stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it’s all crashing down
You stand through the pain
You won’t drown
And one day what’s lost can be found
You stand in the rain..."
 



"...And I find peace
When I'm confused
I find hope when
I'm let down
Not in me
But in You

I hope to lose myself
For good
I hope to find it in the end
Not in me
It's You
It's all I know..."

 

"...And I...I just love you too.."


 
 

 


 
 
 
 



 





 

 




 


Monday, March 26, 2007

I would like a computer

Currently Reading
Atlas Shrugged
By Ayn Rand
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Thursday, March 08, 2007

You know what?  I think being heart-heavy is different than just being sad.  I think it feels like you have a 5 gallon bucket of un-cried tears directly on your chest as you lie pinned, unable to join the millions of  people dancing to their deaths all around you.

http://www.boston.com/news/local/articles/2007/03/06/man_kills_self_children_police_say/

I stared silently at the paper lying on the table, feeling rather shivery inside. The face of the father haunted me...what must he have been feeling?...why?

"You know Jesus probably had it ** *** *** just like the rest of you. In fact, I'm sure he did."

I felt my neck crack as my head jerked up from the Globe to look at my coworker with wide eyes and a stricken face.

"What?"  He said in a defensive voice, glancing away from my face.  "You're not going to tell me he didn't **** ****...."  I just sat and looked as a trail of obscene accusations against my perfect best friend grew longer and more descriptive.

"Look, I don't say I don't believe in God...it's just that I have never seen *anything* to prove that he's actually there."

"God damn you, you ***********, you.  Get away from me, I don't want to be standing by you when God strikes you down with lightening for talking like that."  This coming from my extremely zealous and frightfully misguided coworker.

"Oh yeah, well you people say God *forgives* everything, so shouldn't he forgive me?"

"You're headed straight to hell, you *******!"

"Oh God will accept me with open arms before he'd take a *******  ***** like you."

At the next table Mr. Accusations started with a fresh round of Jesus's undocumented and scandalous sex life...I heard someone behind me start discussing The Jesus Tomb,a book on the supposed discovery of Jesus's body with his wife and child.

I finally stopped interjecting and stared down at my salad.  Hot tears blurred my vision as my hand moved mechanically, pushing all the red cabbage to the edge of my plate.  I hate red cabbage.  Why don't I ever remember to have them leave it off?  It tastes exactly like licking old plastic.  I hate red cabbage...i embraced any thought that happened to run across my mind in order to deaden the piercing pain I was feeling in the chest and the tightening of my throat. 

I looked up, not even trying to hide the tears on my face..."Ya'll...", I started in response to the questions faces...and then I was suddenly overwhelmed by the deep darkness i saw their eyes...i grabbed my plate and turned, leaving a little trail of red cabbage and choking on unformulated responses, that haunting blindness, and the taste of stomach acid in my mouth. 

They were alone...crippled...diseased...broken...starving...in the dark. viciously stamping out any small spark of light that might appear...cursing at any star that broke through their night.

I bent down and picked up the red cabbage off the floor and my eyes suddenly went to the newspaper still on the table.  My heart broke one more time...And I had wondered why... 


"Now that shes back in the atmosphere
With drops of jupiter in her hair...
She acts like summer and walks like rain...
Since the return from her stay on the moon
She listens like spring and she talks like june, hey, hey

Tell me did you sail across the sun
Did you make it to the milky way to see the lights all faded
...Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star
One without a permanent scar
And did you miss me while you were looking at yourself out there...
Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day..."

 

Currently Reading
Every Young Woman's Battle: Guarding Your Mind, Heart, and Body in a Sex-Saturated World (The Every Man Series)
By Shannon Ethridge, Stephen Arterburn
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